My Thought Cloud

(A typical Mom-Son) 2016 in review 

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A year where we survived as a mother and son – handling Year 5 (me especially so perplexed after so many colleagues and friends shared what it is to move from grade 4 to grade 5), Yuvan playing two competitive sports – Floorball for his school as a Captain, Cricket for his club and representing both under 11’s and under 13’s (not all matches) and came out well I should say. Yuvan did quite well in academics I should say, at floorball and also was selected as an ‘All Stars Team’ member at the end end of the cricket season, won a man of the match award, ended up being on the winning team for both u-11 and u-13, all of these but not without the lows, which we survived together, introspected and learnt our lessons as we went along… 

On top it he explored his skills as an MC at the school hosting, Olympics week, musical performances during recess and his book review ‘A boy who knew everything’ got half of the class interested in reading it. And, I also managed to complete a very intensive work loaded Certification course which was long overdue. 

We survived I should say, and we literally unwound the whole of Decemeber trying to do what we like — reinvented our board game evenings and nights, ate our heart out, read a lot, went home to India and enjoyed the quietness, managed to squeeze a mom-kids trip and what not!

Personally I managed stress quite well I guess without transferring it on him, but only I knew  how anxious I was… sigh (something to work on!)

Its also a year that I did lot of soul searching – realised a lot more good in me through unexpected sources.

Yuvan too grew up as a person as I have seen him manage friendships and some fun childhood issues that comes with it, relationships and himself in total… I have to accept I got lot to learn from this little fellow..

2017 is going to be another important year and I really hope all goes well! 

On your 11th birthday

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I felt like writing this to you, Yuvan, 3 years after I wrote my first letter… Thinking back, many things have not changed in the last few years, but you have grown up with me in it, you have understood the intricacies and you have been my pillar of strength…We have learnt to row our boat amidst the waves and have sometimes fallen off it but swam back to the boat too! 

I can safely say ‘You are more of my friend, a companion and offcourse the wonderful son you are’ We have shared conversations that are beyond your age, we have done things that are of your age… I should say, I enjoy both… You are such a confidante… Probably I should say that you are the only person to whom I have shared my innermost fears and have rationalized.. and you seem to understand me…

You have been such a supporting, responsible lad in everyway possible who is also loved by all.. we have had our very own ‘lost it’ moments… I am trying everyday to be a better parent, please bear with me as I learn… 

You have taught me very important life’s lessons and the views you share with me on  quite a lot of personal front, just amazes me. The best I have learned from you through your actions and our conversations, which I still struggle to follow is ‘Silence is virtue.. and you just dont have to respond if you know its better not to respond’

I love the way we communicate just with non-verbals mostly eye notions… I love the dinners we share, the coffee time and I have to admit I like teaching you too.. Needless to say, I love cooking for you!

You are such an inspiration to me and I learn from you every single day! You have been quite open and transparent with me except for a few very silly things that you shouldnt have.. but please do remain the way you are and we will reach the goals and grow together! 

I am impressed the way you are taking your competitive  sport (and trying your best to balance with academic expectations). I am a proud mom looking at how your teammates bond with you, love you and encourage and adore you. I know you return the same too.. Keep going! 

I am baffled and confused as you start your pre-teen years.. I am nervous and anxious! Lets go through this journey together, better and in a best possible way for both of us! 

I love you Yuvan and you know what your flaws are… I am pretty proud to be your mother.  The way you analyse things and put it into perspective be it in academics or personal or competitive sports, just makes me go ‘*open mouthed* Ohhh I see…’ Keep it up and continue it.. I love those perspectives from you!

Just remember one thing ‘Every action will have an equal and opposite reaction. You know your values, you know your strengths and weakness… Act accordingly!’

More to come from me as a parent but I love you as you are Yuvan! Have a blessed year and many more! 

Making time is different 

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to having time. I belive in making time and prioritising… Though I have thrown some of the things I had been doing for myself out of the window, I am glad to be blessed to keep it going with this part of the equation for Yuvan!

A little burger dinner and a game of ‘stress’ is a definite Friday sanity… [Do not ask why the game is named so and what it is… It is just another version of the so called ‘Uno’ with different I donot who invented those rules.. LOL]


Those quality time spent mindlessly are the ones I really cherish… as well as the impromptu ones like this morning – lazing around in the bed, watching some riddle videos; queuing up to be one of the first few to take the Futsal slots for a little birthday get-together.

He is also my little man who helps me with weekend groceries – happily pushing away my trolley (though I know the other push factor for him is to play that so called ‘coke-cup’ filling game at the Fairprice finest we go to)… But no complaints though as I enjoy this little bonding times:-)

Touch wood… and I am thankful for this! 

Man of the match

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is something everyone would cherish and people who play competitive sport would relate to instantly.

Today was Yuvanz second ever since he started playing competitive junior league cricket. Both me and Eash couldn’t make it was I was down with fever (damn..!) but he came home with a huge smile and the MoM match ball award. It’s for his 4/14 and 11 of 9 unbeaten ina 20 overs Howzatt game where a batsman gets to bat only 20 balls.

I am glad the cricketing group parents made sure they snapped pics especially his good friend’s Dad and shared it with me… Blessed to have them.. It’s God’s own way of reassuring me I believe..

Yuvanz man of the match comes after a good 4 weeks break from cricket to focus just on academics… So am in a way relived we managed to balance (off course with me pullinnnnnnnggggg hair)  both…


I know this has made Yuvan content, boosted his confidence and what not.. Playing competitive sport has definitely its fairshare of pro’s  –playing as a team, dealing  with loss and wins and many more which I perosnally belives in shaping one holistically!

Machli [#RIP]

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is a name I grew up with… No, it’s not somebody whom I know in person. It’s all about the tigress who captured almost all of India’s attention and the World’s attention for the last 20 years…She was the Queen of Ranthambore – Brave, Broody and Courageous. A tigress who contributed so much to Tiger conservation and brought conscious awareness towards her own species. An outright Royal Bengal Tiger in every way!

Sadly, she passed away today at 19. It feels like you have a lost a pet, or you have lost something so synonymous. I am not a wild-life admirer or an animal lover like my brother (I wonder, why and how we are exact opposites in every aspect of ourselves – I can write one long post about it :-P), yet I grew up watching episodes and episodes of documentaries about Machli along with my my brother. We had the habit of watching so much of NGC, Animal Planet and Discovery Channel as we grew up to become adults (btw, my brother still does).

I started off watching just for information about her, but I soon fell in love with Machli for all her qualities and the way she looked – a very unique Royal Bengal Tiger. Something in her just made me admire her…She influenced me in a way – watching her gave me confidence, it made me go wow and on top of everything, I felt very content and happy watching a Tiger! (Weird, isn’t it?).

“Machli, Though I am not a wildlife lover, I admire(d) you Machli… You definitely added joy and happiness to my life, that I can never find words to explain!”

I always have not missed reading any news about her as she grew older.. As we all knew she already outlived the average life span of tigers, I was still never prepared to get used to of not reading about her or seeing photos of her roaming around Ranthambore like the Queen she was.  The day was today…Machli is no more! Well! The legend will live in the memories of people like me and we will always love you! #RIPMachli

I am thankful to have lived in the same era as her! Watching ‘n’ number of documentaries about her on wildlife channels with my brother is still so fresh in my mind and soul…

Here’s Machli’s Facebook Page🙂

Note to self:- Show documentary videos of Machli to Yuvan:-)

After note: This is taken from a Machli and a animal-lover’s facebook page i.e my brother… I think I would like to host it here, in the memory of Machli;

Machali1Machali2

National Day

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or in other words Independence Day observances are quite a different experience in different countries… Having lived away from India for a while now, August is a special month for me, as I get to see people painting the whole town in red and white and observing Singapore’s National Day in different ways, with the National Day Parade a big highlight…

As part of the National Education, every student studying in a Singapore Public school gets to experience one of the rehearsals, complete with fireworks…It was Yuvanz opportunity this year and he seems to have enjoyed the experience of being part of it… His reaction ‘It would have been good if we had more Sing-alongs…but I loved the fireworks…’ and to my question of ‘Whats the message this year?’ His answer was  ‘Building a better future together…’ hmmm…


And second year in a row, I managed to practice/learn face painting in preparation for his school celebrations…and mind you on hos request… 


And for the first time, we managed to catch the Jets doing to the flypast for the National Day Parade unplanned… For me it was a different experience altogether:-)


August 15th is always special remembrance of India, as we strive to become the Nation that every Indian would like it to… I still miss watching the Independence Day Parade on television and the goosebumps of the day! Jai Hind – I will always be proud to be an Indian!

Hanging on to the past

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is deemed not healthy… but sometimes I do wonder why when someone is trying not to hang on to the past but it still comes back to haunt them at unexpected moments…It’s the moment when no matter what you are doing, everything just comes back flooding in… makes you go numb and takes time to recover.. These moments can last as long as 10 mins to 30 mins or come flashing for a minute…

I have wondered why this happens if you have forgiven somebody? It’s probably because you have forgiven and not forgotten… Forgiven for your own healing, forgiven for your own progress to the next phase of life… But everything flows back in you when the person you forgave takes the other for granted and instead starts defending oneself rather than helping the other to heal completely but make the other person feel more insecure…

Its a process you wouldn’t understand unless you are the one who had decided to forgive somebody in the hope of healing but the person victimizes you… What a shame…

And hanging on to the past becomes your nomenclature as you are striving hard to come through it yet it flows back to you as you are taken for granted.

I know most of the mankind go through this but the form and relationship may be different.. so then comes the question of how to deal with it then? Someone hurt you, you forgave and you are still hurting…

The best is to come to terms with the situation and not to worry much and believe that ‘anyone cant taunt me, but I know and believe in myself and my happiness. Noone except me rules it nor will let ruin it!!’

Be brave and be you is the mantra!!