Parenting/Children

(A typical Mom-Son) 2016 in review 

Posted on

A year where we survived as a mother and son – handling Year 5 (me especially so perplexed after so many colleagues and friends shared what it is to move from grade 4 to grade 5), Yuvan playing two competitive sports – Floorball for his school as a Captain, Cricket for his club and representing both under 11’s and under 13’s (not all matches) and came out well I should say. Yuvan did quite well in academics I should say, at floorball and also was selected as an ‘All Stars Team’ member at the end end of the cricket season, won a man of the match award, ended up being on the winning team for both u-11 and u-13, all of these but not without the lows, which we survived together, introspected and learnt our lessons as we went along… 

On top it he explored his skills as an MC at the school hosting, Olympics week, musical performances during recess and his book review ‘A boy who knew everything’ got half of the class interested in reading it. And, I also managed to complete a very intensive work loaded Certification course which was long overdue. 

We survived I should say, and we literally unwound the whole of Decemeber trying to do what we like — reinvented our board game evenings and nights, ate our heart out, read a lot, went home to India and enjoyed the quietness, managed to squeeze a mom-kids trip and what not!

Personally I managed stress quite well I guess without transferring it on him, but only I knew  how anxious I was… sigh (something to work on!)

Its also a year that I did lot of soul searching – realised a lot more good in me through unexpected sources.

Yuvan too grew up as a person as I have seen him manage friendships and some fun childhood issues that comes with it, relationships and himself in total… I have to accept I got lot to learn from this little fellow..

2017 is going to be another important year and I really hope all goes well! 

Advertisements

Making time is different 

Posted on

to having time. I belive in making time and prioritising… Though I have thrown some of the things I had been doing for myself out of the window, I am glad to be blessed to keep it going with this part of the equation for Yuvan!

A little burger dinner and a game of ‘stress’ is a definite Friday sanity… [Do not ask why the game is named so and what it is… It is just another version of the so called ‘Uno’ with different I donot who invented those rules.. LOL]


Those quality time spent mindlessly are the ones I really cherish… as well as the impromptu ones like this morning – lazing around in the bed, watching some riddle videos; queuing up to be one of the first few to take the Futsal slots for a little birthday get-together.

He is also my little man who helps me with weekend groceries – happily pushing away my trolley (though I know the other push factor for him is to play that so called ‘coke-cup’ filling game at the Fairprice finest we go to)… But no complaints though as I enjoy this little bonding times:-)

Touch wood… and I am thankful for this! 

Man of the match

Posted on Updated on

is something everyone would cherish and people who play competitive sport would relate to instantly.

Today was Yuvanz second ever since he started playing competitive junior league cricket. Both me and Eash couldn’t make it was I was down with fever (damn..!) but he came home with a huge smile and the MoM match ball award. It’s for his 4/14 and 11 of 9 unbeaten ina 20 overs Howzatt game where a batsman gets to bat only 20 balls.

I am glad the cricketing group parents made sure they snapped pics especially his good friend’s Dad and shared it with me… Blessed to have them.. It’s God’s own way of reassuring me I believe..

Yuvanz man of the match comes after a good 4 weeks break from cricket to focus just on academics… So am in a way relived we managed to balance (off course with me pullinnnnnnnggggg hair)  both…


I know this has made Yuvan content, boosted his confidence and what not.. Playing competitive sport has definitely its fairshare of pro’s  –playing as a team, dealing  with loss and wins and many more which I perosnally belives in shaping one holistically!

National Day

Posted on

or in other words Independence Day observances are quite a different experience in different countries… Having lived away from India for a while now, August is a special month for me, as I get to see people painting the whole town in red and white and observing Singapore’s National Day in different ways, with the National Day Parade a big highlight…

As part of the National Education, every student studying in a Singapore Public school gets to experience one of the rehearsals, complete with fireworks…It was Yuvanz opportunity this year and he seems to have enjoyed the experience of being part of it… His reaction ‘It would have been good if we had more Sing-alongs…but I loved the fireworks…’ and to my question of ‘Whats the message this year?’ His answer was  ‘Building a better future together…’ hmmm…


And second year in a row, I managed to practice/learn face painting in preparation for his school celebrations…and mind you on hos request… 


And for the first time, we managed to catch the Jets doing to the flypast for the National Day Parade unplanned… For me it was a different experience altogether:-)


August 15th is always special remembrance of India, as we strive to become the Nation that every Indian would like it to… I still miss watching the Independence Day Parade on television and the goosebumps of the day! Jai Hind – I will always be proud to be an Indian!

Every Parent’s journey is different!

Posted on

Being a parent is every parent’s individual exciting story and every child is also a different individual. 

Having said that, as a parent, the journey for me so far has had its own ups and downs and I have learned from every single parenting hit and miss. I have had my ‘Mummy moments’, crazy stressful days and ‘Magnum/chocalate days’. 

Also, along the way I have read ‘n’ number of parenting articles – contemplated and argued about the same within my mind, about which/what may work for us and what am I not doing right. I have also tried many suggestions to improve my parenting after my ‘mum instinct’ vouched for it. Some articles have served me as reassurances that what I am probably doing at that juncture is right… Everyone likes reassurances – isn’t it?

Mum in the making, a blog I read quite regularly shared this parenting article on social media. 

As Yuvan is only three years shy of getting into his teens, I have always wondered and kind of perplexed about what challenges it would throw at me and how am I going to face them? But I always have belived some positive parenting habits had to be established right from the beginning to enjoy or rather survive the teen parenting stage. 

The article talks about10 parenting habits to develop before your child turns into a teen’. I am happy that I have established that but the challenge would be to sustain it. 

If you are a parent this is a must read:-) Out of all the 10, everything except No.2 falls in the ‘To sustain’ category, for me. No. 2 is work in progress and I will take it even more seriously from this minute.

Picking up a language

Posted on Updated on

could happen in different circumstances.. for example – when you are forced to live in an environment where majority of the population speak a language which you don’t or when you happen to have a friend’s circle who speak a different language as a majority, or in a typical Indian home setting, where you are forced to learn a new language in school for various reasons..

Yuvan, for not the above reasons, but since our choice school that we thought will be a right fit for him and as well liked in SG, the second language or the compulsory Mother Tongue had to be Hindi and not Tamil if not for the other two national languages at that point. We made a decision as we liked the school in particular and thought/convinced oursleves, ‘Oh.. let him learn Hindi, it will be useful for him too’ 

Though I was aware of the strength and vastness of the MT syllabus, I was not prepared to go through the stress of not able to help as much as I would like to, me being me.. But we coped and are coping with help…But whenever we had to cope under difficult circumstances, I had doubted myself about the choice we made, what he is going through and whether he will pick up the language as a skill or just be like me without the speaking skill of that new language as he didn’t seem to be interested to communicate with Eash in the language…

I have even been advised by many that if he doesnt speak socially its not worth it as well as whethere were we really sure its something   that would help him etc…Well parenting advisees and questions all over… even from unexpected quarters…

But, as I always believe, God really shows me the way in his own ways of communications whenever I have felt under the weather or unsure in all matters big and small (Thats why I belive in my intutions more and that’s good and bad I say…) It was the second time in this week, as I was home, sick, I noticed him speak Hindi fluently over the phone. The first time was to his friend S, started off with casual one sentencer and then he shifted back to English. But the second time was when I really felt good… It happenned when he had to return a call to his friend and his granny picked the call (I knew she can only speak Hindi well) and he immediately changed to Hindi and made a good conversation for about 3 -4 mins, which was so heartening to me. Thankful and grateful to the LORD again for the assurances that keeps me going!

It was a definitely a reassurance that he has picked up the inportant skill and uses it when needed…It’s a parenting moment too as I woe to travel with Yuvan throughout… Love you Yuvan…

Sometimes moments like these give me the happinness and something to smile about especially when as my brain works overtime in search of sanity! 

A Mother’s day with a difference

Posted on Updated on

is what I experienced… Though I am not a believer in ‘days’, in retrospect I think these days can be seen as days for people to remember to say thanks and take a moment to appreciate and as well serve as a reminder to people who take others for granted.

Having said that, I got some subtle messages, a reminder from the Almighty himself to me.. We followed our heart, me and Yu went out for a very very late dinner last night to satisfy my Tandoori Chicken craving and we were in a taxi driven by a very elderly uncle. He was calm, composed and we stuck a conversation. The parting words from him, as we alighted were, ‘I know you youngsters work very hard and I know you as a mom will be trying to spend as much as time with your family, which is right ‘cos family is more important… Don’t work too hard and don’t forget to take time for yourself…’ 

A day prior to all this, Yuvan and me stuck a casual conversation and he asked, ‘Why should they have Mother’s Day and Father’s Day separately? I strongly suggest that it should be one day called Parents Day’ (His rationale behind this is the struggle to remember two dates and the ever indicating Mummy.. Boys are Boys!)                                                                                 

But, this made me think a little bit more introspectively – actually I love the cards he gives me; but I think my happiness is when he is better behaved, independent but not arrogant, and shows respect to everyone, tries to be a honest and genuine human being! And I did tell him about it, that I don’t expect a card, so he doesn’t have to force himself but I want him to show what he means in the values he carries and follows within himself, throughout!

Mother’s Day was just another normal day and we headed off to his league cricket match. I have realised that me being there through the match at the dugout sometimes puts a little extra pressure on him and my superstitions also come into play… As we both deal with these individual demons, I dropped him off for the match and left thinking to rejoin for their second innings. My mind was definitely thinking about him and wishing the best. I have to admit I am still the anxious, nervous mom!

I came back in and the first thing one of the cricket moms told me was, ‘Yuvan’z mummy, Yuvan batted so well.. the parents were asking the team, who is this Virat Kohli..’ Ah well.. a true mummy moment..:-) But I was battling my own demons as his team was still fighting to win and the opposition placed well. 

Yuvan fielded well, came back to bowl a crucial 17th over. I was just not looking at him completely for obvious reasons and he took two wickets in that over and his team was pumped with positive energy. They went on to win this crucial fixture.. It was a good day overall. 

Yuvan’s head coach is known for his straight forward talking and he pushes the boys to their limits to get the best out of them. Any indisipline, arogance and not sticking to the  basics never goes unnoticed and the message will be immediately conveyed.. I was glad to witness and see he was one of the players who has maintained not to be scolded or told off for indiscipline or arrogance so far, which I think is the quality of being grounded I want him to follow through his entire life… Also learning to take defeat and success in the same light and to understand that there is always a little something to take away in any situation and improve and learn a life’s valuable lesson are the keys! Yuvan, trying to hold on to and practice these made my day and I told him quite openly that this show of values is my biggest gift of the day and would appreciate if he continues so…

And I also have to credit the coaching team for instilling teamspirit and leadership qualities in the young minds.. As the team assembled, with no initiations and the coaches still not at the ground, the team automatically started to practice. What a sight it was, as I am someone who believes coaching/teaching is just not only about skill developing but much much more!

Collage

The other thing was completely unexpected today!  As I waded into Giordano today, they asked me whether am I a member and a mom and then gifted me with a Mother’s Day cake bounty!! Surprise! Surprise! 

I am also truly indebted to two people in this world, 1. My mom who has instilled great fundamental values in me and truly gave me space to grow as an individual to who I am today. I know I will always be a ‘little girl’ to her… 2. The little man Yuvan who has given me courage, hope, confidence, laughter and some amazing life’s lessons through his uncomplicated way of looking at life, as I walk through my own little insecurities being a person, mom and a parent! Thanks and I love you both… Though I don’t believe in ‘Days’, I want to take this opportunity to appreciate, be grateful and thankful, for what the Almighty has given me in these two people to me! And thankful to the Almighty too…

Collage1