fills you, when you see things happen out of the blue in the way you may have wanted, at the right time! This is true for anything:-)
I had this guilt of not building a routine for kids household chores, as I genuinely believe that it has to come with shared responsibility, interest and acknowledging one another and not forced upon. But what has been bothering me in the back of my mind was ‘Am I taking efforts and creating opportunities for it to happen?’
Over the years, Yuvan has willingly done house chores like setting the dining table, clearing it, grocery shopping as well as assisting on anything when one needs help at home; learning to reheat food etc at a pace of his own, on top of being responsible for some of his very own chores – that mummy insists must be on his own. This also seemingly worked well with ‘wanting to be more independent’ phase of his!
But I had always thought about why he has not been picking up chores like mopping, which I genuinely believe is a core job on top of cooking and cleaning to be shared by everyone in the family. I had also thought of his mind set etc (now I know it was unnecessary..) towards these chores! Suddenly, in the last week or so, he had willingly learnt to use the pail with spinner and mop small areas such as kitchen, store room and living room after cleaning the fish tank etc., And I can see he is genuinely willing to do it and I appreciate that. And off course no mind set issues! He has been learning how to wash the rice before cooking too.He also has conversations about me being naggy and at the 5th minute after complaining and being grumpy, checking on how am I getting home/office after I drop him at school.This boy never fails to amaze me as much as he makes me go crazy!Love you Yuvan!The important thing I want you to remember is Be respectful and be a Gentleman!
One of Yuvanz school holiday project was to analyze poems given in particular themes and come up with mood boards. The theme of his poems were Poverty and one of it was on Hunger specifically and the other set in Mumbai.
Whilst I was helping him with logistics as he was putting together his project, a lot of reflections crossed my mind:
- There is so much out there happening around me and I am not anywhere in that zone.
- Hunger is the World’s biggest epidemic
- The divide is very huge – social, economical and political
- Why hunger?
- Am I being truly grateful for what I have been provided for and what I am able to provide for?
- What can I do? Am I doing my part being a responsible human being?
Why Hunger? It reminded me of this famous thought-school, ‘Consuming only what exactly you need is indirectly making it available to the needy!’ This I think is a powerful thought, which needs action. Starts from within!
I am grateful that this served as an opportunity to have meaningful conversations with Yuvan. Yuvan questioned whether it is the respective government’s responsibility to ensure no one goes hungry as much as possible? He seemed quite taken aback with the whole issue of Hunger for Food and Poverty.
I was thinking: Has he been so sheltered?
It was interesting when he mentioned hunger drives people to be desperate. He continued that hunger can also be related in terms of hunger for success, money etc. not just hunger. ‘Desperate’ for food could lead to stealing or begging; The other worldly hungers leads to cheating, power struggles and a huge impact on undermining values.
This thought process from him literally gave me a shock in both ways, though very insightful!
I told him, yes I completely agree. But there are so many millions in the World who go hungry every day for food, with no basic necessities like shelter and clothing too. We spoke about the Dabbawalas and the ‘Share the dabba’ initiative in Mumbai. Looking at what transpires and the humble lives they live and impact they create in so many people’s lives as well to come up with initiative to feed those in need is a point in reflection by itself! It was also point of reflection for me on food wastage and sharing!
One of his image was the World famous one by Kevin Carter and that brought out subjects like famine, depression and suicide – talking about Kevin Carter’s death.
Millions in the pocket would do nothing if there is no heart to share and care!
Being consciously grateful is the way of life! Be Kind, Love, Live and Let Live!
A year where we survived as a mother and son – handling Year 5 (me especially so perplexed after so many colleagues and friends shared what it is to move from grade 4 to grade 5), Yuvan playing two competitive sports – Floorball for his school as a Captain, Cricket for his club and representing both under 11’s and under 13’s (not all matches) and came out well I should say. Yuvan did quite well in academics I should say, at floorball and also was selected as an ‘All Stars Team’ member at the end end of the cricket season, won a man of the match award, ended up being on the winning team for both u-11 and u-13, all of these but not without the lows, which we survived together, introspected and learnt our lessons as we went along…
On top it he explored his skills as an MC at the school hosting, Olympics week, musical performances during recess and his book review ‘A boy who knew everything’ got half of the class interested in reading it. And, I also managed to complete a very intensive work loaded Certification course which was long overdue.
We survived I should say, and we literally unwound the whole of Decemeber trying to do what we like — reinvented our board game evenings and nights, ate our heart out, read a lot, went home to India and enjoyed the quietness, managed to squeeze a mom-kids trip and what not!
Personally I managed stress quite well I guess without transferring it on him, but only I knew how anxious I was… sigh (something to work on!)
Its also a year that I did lot of soul searching – realised a lot more good in me through unexpected sources.
Yuvan too grew up as a person as I have seen him manage friendships and some fun childhood issues that comes with it, relationships and himself in total… I have to accept I got lot to learn from this little fellow..
2017 is going to be another important year and I really hope all goes well!
to having time. I belive in making time and prioritising… Though I have thrown some of the things I had been doing for myself out of the window, I am glad to be blessed to keep it going with this part of the equation for Yuvan!
A little burger dinner and a game of ‘stress’ is a definite Friday sanity… [Do not ask why the game is named so and what it is… It is just another version of the so called ‘Uno’ with different I donot who invented those rules.. LOL]
Those quality time spent mindlessly are the ones I really cherish… as well as the impromptu ones like this morning – lazing around in the bed, watching some riddle videos; queuing up to be one of the first few to take the Futsal slots for a little birthday get-together.
He is also my little man who helps me with weekend groceries – happily pushing away my trolley (though I know the other push factor for him is to play that so called ‘coke-cup’ filling game at the Fairprice finest we go to)… But no complaints though as I enjoy this little bonding times:-)
Touch wood… and I am thankful for this!
is something everyone would cherish and people who play competitive sport would relate to instantly.
Today was Yuvanz second ever since he started playing competitive junior league cricket. Both me and Eash couldn’t make it was I was down with fever (damn..!) but he came home with a huge smile and the MoM match ball award. It’s for his 4/14 and 11 of 9 unbeaten ina 20 overs Howzatt game where a batsman gets to bat only 20 balls.
I am glad the cricketing group parents made sure they snapped pics especially his good friend’s Dad and shared it with me… Blessed to have them.. It’s God’s own way of reassuring me I believe..
Yuvanz man of the match comes after a good 4 weeks break from cricket to focus just on academics… So am in a way relived we managed to balance (off course with me pullinnnnnnnggggg hair) both…
I know this has made Yuvan content, boosted his confidence and what not.. Playing competitive sport has definitely its fairshare of pro’s –playing as a team, dealing with loss and wins and many more which I perosnally belives in shaping one holistically!
or in other words Independence Day observances are quite a different experience in different countries… Having lived away from India for a while now, August is a special month for me, as I get to see people painting the whole town in red and white and observing Singapore’s National Day in different ways, with the National Day Parade a big highlight…
As part of the National Education, every student studying in a Singapore Public school gets to experience one of the rehearsals, complete with fireworks…It was Yuvanz opportunity this year and he seems to have enjoyed the experience of being part of it… His reaction ‘It would have been good if we had more Sing-alongs…but I loved the fireworks…’ and to my question of ‘Whats the message this year?’ His answer was ‘Building a better future together…’ hmmm…
August 15th is always special remembrance of India, as we strive to become the Nation that every Indian would like it to… I still miss watching the Independence Day Parade on television and the goosebumps of the day! Jai Hind – I will always be proud to be an Indian!
Being a parent is every parent’s individual exciting story and every child is also a different individual.
Having said that, as a parent, the journey for me so far has had its own ups and downs and I have learned from every single parenting hit and miss. I have had my ‘Mummy moments’, crazy stressful days and ‘Magnum/chocalate days’.
Also, along the way I have read ‘n’ number of parenting articles – contemplated and argued about the same within my mind, about which/what may work for us and what am I not doing right. I have also tried many suggestions to improve my parenting after my ‘mum instinct’ vouched for it. Some articles have served me as reassurances that what I am probably doing at that juncture is right… Everyone likes reassurances – isn’t it?
As Yuvan is only three years shy of getting into his teens, I have always wondered and kind of perplexed about what challenges it would throw at me and how am I going to face them? But I always have belived some positive parenting habits had to be established right from the beginning to enjoy or rather survive the teen parenting stage.
The article talks about ‘10 parenting habits to develop before your child turns into a teen’. I am happy that I have established that but the challenge would be to sustain it.
If you are a parent this is a must read:-) Out of all the 10, everything except No.2 falls in the ‘To sustain’ category, for me. No. 2 is work in progress and I will take it even more seriously from this minute.