My Lil Tadpole
A year where we survived as a mother and son – handling Year 5 (me especially so perplexed after so many colleagues and friends shared what it is to move from grade 4 to grade 5), Yuvan playing two competitive sports – Floorball for his school as a Captain, Cricket for his club and representing both under 11’s and under 13’s (not all matches) and came out well I should say. Yuvan did quite well in academics I should say, at floorball and also was selected as an ‘All Stars Team’ member at the end end of the cricket season, won a man of the match award, ended up being on the winning team for both u-11 and u-13, all of these but not without the lows, which we survived together, introspected and learnt our lessons as we went along…
On top it he explored his skills as an MC at the school hosting, Olympics week, musical performances during recess and his book review ‘A boy who knew everything’ got half of the class interested in reading it. And, I also managed to complete a very intensive work loaded Certification course which was long overdue.
We survived I should say, and we literally unwound the whole of Decemeber trying to do what we like — reinvented our board game evenings and nights, ate our heart out, read a lot, went home to India and enjoyed the quietness, managed to squeeze a mom-kids trip and what not!
Personally I managed stress quite well I guess without transferring it on him, but only I knew how anxious I was… sigh (something to work on!)
Its also a year that I did lot of soul searching – realised a lot more good in me through unexpected sources.
Yuvan too grew up as a person as I have seen him manage friendships and some fun childhood issues that comes with it, relationships and himself in total… I have to accept I got lot to learn from this little fellow..
2017 is going to be another important year and I really hope all goes well!
I felt like writing this to you, Yuvan, 3 years after I wrote my first letter… Thinking back, many things have not changed in the last few years, but you have grown up with me in it, you have understood the intricacies and you have been my pillar of strength…We have learnt to row our boat amidst the waves and have sometimes fallen off it but swam back to the boat too!
I can safely say ‘You are more of my friend, a companion and offcourse the wonderful son you are’ We have shared conversations that are beyond your age, we have done things that are of your age… I should say, I enjoy both… You are such a confidante… Probably I should say that you are the only person to whom I have shared my innermost fears and have rationalized.. and you seem to understand me…
You have been such a supporting, responsible lad in everyway possible who is also loved by all.. we have had our very own ‘lost it’ moments… I am trying everyday to be a better parent, please bear with me as I learn…
You have taught me very important life’s lessons and the views you share with me on quite a lot of personal front, just amazes me. The best I have learned from you through your actions and our conversations, which I still struggle to follow is ‘Silence is virtue.. and you just dont have to respond if you know its better not to respond’
I love the way we communicate just with non-verbals mostly eye notions… I love the dinners we share, the coffee time and I have to admit I like teaching you too.. Needless to say, I love cooking for you!
You are such an inspiration to me and I learn from you every single day! You have been quite open and transparent with me except for a few very silly things that you shouldnt have.. but please do remain the way you are and we will reach the goals and grow together!
I am impressed the way you are taking your competitive sport (and trying your best to balance with academic expectations). I am a proud mom looking at how your teammates bond with you, love you and encourage and adore you. I know you return the same too.. Keep going!
I am baffled and confused as you start your pre-teen years.. I am nervous and anxious! Lets go through this journey together, better and in a best possible way for both of us!
I love you Yuvan and you know what your flaws are… I am pretty proud to be your mother. The way you analyse things and put it into perspective be it in academics or personal or competitive sports, just makes me go ‘*open mouthed* Ohhh I see…’ Keep it up and continue it.. I love those perspectives from you!
Just remember one thing ‘Every action will have an equal and opposite reaction. You know your values, you know your strengths and weakness… Act accordingly!’
More to come from me as a parent but I love you as you are Yuvan! Have a blessed year and many more!
to having time. I belive in making time and prioritising… Though I have thrown some of the things I had been doing for myself out of the window, I am glad to be blessed to keep it going with this part of the equation for Yuvan!
A little burger dinner and a game of ‘stress’ is a definite Friday sanity… [Do not ask why the game is named so and what it is… It is just another version of the so called ‘Uno’ with different I donot who invented those rules.. LOL]
Those quality time spent mindlessly are the ones I really cherish… as well as the impromptu ones like this morning – lazing around in the bed, watching some riddle videos; queuing up to be one of the first few to take the Futsal slots for a little birthday get-together.
He is also my little man who helps me with weekend groceries – happily pushing away my trolley (though I know the other push factor for him is to play that so called ‘coke-cup’ filling game at the Fairprice finest we go to)… But no complaints though as I enjoy this little bonding times:-)
Touch wood… and I am thankful for this!
is something everyone would cherish and people who play competitive sport would relate to instantly.
Today was Yuvanz second ever since he started playing competitive junior league cricket. Both me and Eash couldn’t make it was I was down with fever (damn..!) but he came home with a huge smile and the MoM match ball award. It’s for his 4/14 and 11 of 9 unbeaten ina 20 overs Howzatt game where a batsman gets to bat only 20 balls.
I am glad the cricketing group parents made sure they snapped pics especially his good friend’s Dad and shared it with me… Blessed to have them.. It’s God’s own way of reassuring me I believe..
Yuvanz man of the match comes after a good 4 weeks break from cricket to focus just on academics… So am in a way relived we managed to balance (off course with me pullinnnnnnnggggg hair) both…
I know this has made Yuvan content, boosted his confidence and what not.. Playing competitive sport has definitely its fairshare of pro’s –playing as a team, dealing with loss and wins and many more which I perosnally belives in shaping one holistically!
or in other words Independence Day observances are quite a different experience in different countries… Having lived away from India for a while now, August is a special month for me, as I get to see people painting the whole town in red and white and observing Singapore’s National Day in different ways, with the National Day Parade a big highlight…
As part of the National Education, every student studying in a Singapore Public school gets to experience one of the rehearsals, complete with fireworks…It was Yuvanz opportunity this year and he seems to have enjoyed the experience of being part of it… His reaction ‘It would have been good if we had more Sing-alongs…but I loved the fireworks…’ and to my question of ‘Whats the message this year?’ His answer was ‘Building a better future together…’ hmmm…
August 15th is always special remembrance of India, as we strive to become the Nation that every Indian would like it to… I still miss watching the Independence Day Parade on television and the goosebumps of the day! Jai Hind – I will always be proud to be an Indian!
Being a parent is every parent’s individual exciting story and every child is also a different individual.
Having said that, as a parent, the journey for me so far has had its own ups and downs and I have learned from every single parenting hit and miss. I have had my ‘Mummy moments’, crazy stressful days and ‘Magnum/chocalate days’.
Also, along the way I have read ‘n’ number of parenting articles – contemplated and argued about the same within my mind, about which/what may work for us and what am I not doing right. I have also tried many suggestions to improve my parenting after my ‘mum instinct’ vouched for it. Some articles have served me as reassurances that what I am probably doing at that juncture is right… Everyone likes reassurances – isn’t it?
As Yuvan is only three years shy of getting into his teens, I have always wondered and kind of perplexed about what challenges it would throw at me and how am I going to face them? But I always have belived some positive parenting habits had to be established right from the beginning to enjoy or rather survive the teen parenting stage.
The article talks about ‘10 parenting habits to develop before your child turns into a teen’. I am happy that I have established that but the challenge would be to sustain it.
If you are a parent this is a must read:-) Out of all the 10, everything except No.2 falls in the ‘To sustain’ category, for me. No. 2 is work in progress and I will take it even more seriously from this minute.
Though I don’t give religion an importance, I do believe in the existence of Almighty and his unique ways of communication…
I, as a person not only trust my intuitions but also believe in the messages that reach me indirectly… Be it the ones I accidentally bump on the web or the conversations I tend to have with people from unexpected quarters, I just know certain messages are sent to me by HIM..
The conversations are the ones that really amaze me because there are definite messages sent subtly in situations that I really needed not few cents worth but a 100 dollar note instead to bring some sanity within me… Offcourse there are fair share of people who spread negativity but I have learned (still learning) to not be affected by them and not impulsively react to it too…
The experience I had a few days ago is one such but way out of the box experience that I literally cried after..
I was engulfed with thoughts about Yuvanz marks, (after his little chat over the phone that he realised and understood how he has lost some marks and how he shouldn’t have). I was thinking on the lines of what should I do to get those marks lost ‘cos of whatver reasons it may be, am I doing it right, should I plan even better and does he realise that I love him above all and other truck loads more of a very driven and anxious Mummy, when I called for a cab to pick Y, drop him off in a class and then proceed to run my errands…
The cabbie was a very calm composed guy who started making small chat, though my lips smiled I was super occupied and was not in a mood to make any comparision…He offered whether he could turn on some music and sing along… And then he said THIS, ‘I want you to feel the happiness when you go out of taxi…’ And the the conversation wandered and he said THIS, without me sharing my concerns nor showing any signs at all… ‘Now-a-days parents compare for no reason and stress themselves, they compare among the kids, even though the kid might have worked hard and scored better marks they say either why you lost the remaining marks or why you lost more than your earlier exam or why you lost more than the guy who scored the first mark… this is unnecessary as down the line the 10 or so marks lost doesn’t matter at all.. It’s how they progress from primary to secondary and to uni and then hold on to a job and in the process how they become a better person and human being is more important…Parents must feel the joy in the fullness and encourage them… In this process all you need to be watchful is the friends they make, the habits they pick and how to guide them…’
What a message just sent to me as if someone is talking to me on behalf? He also added, ‘Don’t Worry.. you are going to be alright so as your son…’ Also he did find out whether I do this picking and dropping often how I pace it and what is my rationale…
As we picked up Yuvan, the cabbie stuck up a quick conversation and then told him, ‘Do you know that you mom loves you soo much and she does little things to bond with you.. I know you love your mom too..’ Yuvan blushed…
The messenger not only answered my insecurities he also was the messenger to Yuvan to let him know I love him… What an experience it was..I just cant explain more:-) Its a feeling I will never be able to express…
He reassured me more after we dropped off Yuvan and finally when I alighted I had to accept and tell him , with a glaze in my eyes.. And all he spoke was just answering my thoughts that has been bugging me… I said, ‘Uncle, I am not sure whether you belive in messengers from God, I do… and you are my biggest messneger in the recent months.. I cant explain at this moment what I have been through in the last 30 mins…But I really feel thankful and I am your cab ride has given me happiness’
What less can I tell him? Is this what we call Serendipity as my friend J said?
After this episode, I am thinking a lot more clearer, calmer and it all seems to make some sense… I am much more less anxious and defintely reviewed the way I look at things.. This is one of my biggest mesages and lessons.. I am thankful to GOD who reminds me in my tougher times that he is there for me in many ways…and when I am unsure he reassures me like this… I am glad I am watched over with Love:-)