I am thankful for…

(A typical Mom-Son) 2016 in review 

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A year where we survived as a mother and son – handling Year 5 (me especially so perplexed after so many colleagues and friends shared what it is to move from grade 4 to grade 5), Yuvan playing two competitive sports – Floorball for his school as a Captain, Cricket for his club and representing both under 11’s and under 13’s (not all matches) and came out well I should say. Yuvan did quite well in academics I should say, at floorball and also was selected as an ‘All Stars Team’ member at the end end of the cricket season, won a man of the match award, ended up being on the winning team for both u-11 and u-13, all of these but not without the lows, which we survived together, introspected and learnt our lessons as we went along… 

On top it he explored his skills as an MC at the school hosting, Olympics week, musical performances during recess and his book review ‘A boy who knew everything’ got half of the class interested in reading it. And, I also managed to complete a very intensive work loaded Certification course which was long overdue. 

We survived I should say, and we literally unwound the whole of Decemeber trying to do what we like — reinvented our board game evenings and nights, ate our heart out, read a lot, went home to India and enjoyed the quietness, managed to squeeze a mom-kids trip and what not!

Personally I managed stress quite well I guess without transferring it on him, but only I knew  how anxious I was… sigh (something to work on!)

Its also a year that I did lot of soul searching – realised a lot more good in me through unexpected sources.

Yuvan too grew up as a person as I have seen him manage friendships and some fun childhood issues that comes with it, relationships and himself in total… I have to accept I got lot to learn from this little fellow..

2017 is going to be another important year and I really hope all goes well! 

Making time is different 

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to having time. I belive in making time and prioritising… Though I have thrown some of the things I had been doing for myself out of the window, I am glad to be blessed to keep it going with this part of the equation for Yuvan!

A little burger dinner and a game of ‘stress’ is a definite Friday sanity… [Do not ask why the game is named so and what it is… It is just another version of the so called ‘Uno’ with different I donot who invented those rules.. LOL]

Those quality time spent mindlessly are the ones I really cherish… as well as the impromptu ones like this morning – lazing around in the bed, watching some riddle videos; queuing up to be one of the first few to take the Futsal slots for a little birthday get-together.

He is also my little man who helps me with weekend groceries – happily pushing away my trolley (though I know the other push factor for him is to play that so called ‘coke-cup’ filling game at the Fairprice finest we go to)… But no complaints though as I enjoy this little bonding times:-)

Touch wood… and I am thankful for this! 


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come in little packages and they are strong messages and whether you pick it or not is another thing…

I have come to listen to these little messages veey keenly now and they have made/make a huge difference to me.

After an emotional evening of thinking tooo much, I woke up to these:

  • A work friend remembers you when she plans to take taxi and texts you ‘don’t rush, I shall pick you up on the way’.
  • Yuvanz best friend’s Dad calls and asks, ‘I want to check if you have bought Yuvan the 8th HP book, so I can get the 8th book for him too…’ 

I personally think these are strong messages to me at a crucial time and these little reassurances made me happy and thankful. I am counting my blessings.

Messengers from God

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Though I don’t give religion an importance, I do believe in the existence of Almighty and his unique ways of communication… 

I, as a person not only trust my intuitions but also believe in the messages that reach me indirectly… Be it the ones I accidentally bump on the web or the conversations I tend to have with people from unexpected quarters, I just know certain messages are sent to me by HIM.. 

The conversations are the ones that really amaze me because there are definite messages sent subtly in situations that I really needed not few cents worth but a 100 dollar note instead to bring some sanity within me… Offcourse there are fair share of people who spread negativity but I have learned (still learning) to not be affected by them and not impulsively react to it too…

The experience I had a few days ago is one such but way out of the box experience that I literally cried after..

I was engulfed with thoughts about Yuvanz marks, (after his little chat over the phone that he realised and understood how he has lost some marks and how he shouldn’t have). I was thinking on the lines of what should I do to get those marks lost ‘cos of whatver reasons it may be, am I doing it right, should I plan even better and does he realise that I love him above all and other truck loads more of a very driven and anxious Mummy, when I called for a cab to pick Y, drop him off in a class and then proceed to run my errands…

The cabbie was a very calm composed guy who started making small chat, though my lips smiled I was super occupied and was not in a mood to make any comparision…He offered whether he could turn on some music and sing along… And then he said THIS, ‘I want you to feel the happiness when you go out of taxi…’ And the the conversation wandered and he said THIS, without me sharing my concerns nor showing any signs at all… ‘Now-a-days parents compare for no reason and stress themselves, they compare among the kids, even though the kid might have worked hard and scored better marks they say either why you lost the remaining marks or why you lost more than your earlier exam or why you lost more than the guy who scored the first mark… this is unnecessary as down the line the 10 or so marks lost doesn’t matter at all.. It’s how they progress from primary to secondary and to uni and then hold on to a job and in the process how they become a better person and human being is more important…Parents must feel the joy in the fullness and encourage them… In this process all you need to be watchful is the friends they make, the habits they pick and how to guide them…’

What a message just sent to me as if someone is talking to me on behalf? He also added, ‘Don’t Worry.. you are going to be alright so as your son…’ Also he did find out whether I do this picking and dropping often how I pace it and what is my rationale…

As we picked up Yuvan, the cabbie stuck up a quick conversation and then told him, ‘Do you know that you mom loves you soo much and she does little things to bond with you.. I know you love your mom too..’ Yuvan blushed…

The messenger not only answered my insecurities he also was the messenger to Yuvan to let him know I love him…   What an experience it was..I just cant explain more:-) Its a feeling I will never be able to express…

He reassured me more after we dropped off Yuvan and finally when I alighted I had to accept and tell him , with a glaze in my eyes.. And all he spoke was just answering my thoughts that has been bugging me… I said, ‘Uncle, I am not sure whether you belive in messengers from God, I do… and you are my biggest messneger in the recent months.. I cant explain at this moment what I have been through in the  last 30 mins…But I really feel thankful and I am your cab ride has given me happiness’

What less can I tell him? Is this what we call Serendipity as my friend J said? 

After this episode, I am thinking a lot more clearer, calmer and it all seems to make some sense… I am much more less anxious and defintely reviewed the way I look at things.. This is one of my biggest mesages and lessons.. I am thankful to GOD who reminds me in my tougher times that he is there for me in many ways…and when I am unsure he reassures me like this… I am glad I am watched over with Love:-) 

Soulful cooking

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is what I call my time in kitchen mostly, ‘cos it really makes me feel good… that’s probably the only time my brain works ‘just’ on the task and nothing less nor more. I like cooking and I love trying new recipes… But I have to admit that I do have phases where I go completely uninspired or have no mood to cook too.

But if I am in a bad mood, or I think I want my own space, the first thing I do is cook up a storm in the kitchen… I also make efforts to wok Yuvan’z favourites in the kitchen with lots of camouflaging to include the necessary greens and what not! And I always keep my fingers for Yuvan’s thumbs up or comments… He he.. he is a real foodie, just like me…

Some soulful cooking in the last month or so, has been a therapy for me…

Click here to find out what’s been cooking in my kitchen in the last month or so…



Picking up a language

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could happen in different circumstances.. for example – when you are forced to live in an environment where majority of the population speak a language which you don’t or when you happen to have a friend’s circle who speak a different language as a majority, or in a typical Indian home setting, where you are forced to learn a new language in school for various reasons..

Yuvan, for not the above reasons, but since our choice school that we thought will be a right fit for him and as well liked in SG, the second language or the compulsory Mother Tongue had to be Hindi and not Tamil if not for the other two national languages at that point. We made a decision as we liked the school in particular and thought/convinced oursleves, ‘Oh.. let him learn Hindi, it will be useful for him too’ 

Though I was aware of the strength and vastness of the MT syllabus, I was not prepared to go through the stress of not able to help as much as I would like to, me being me.. But we coped and are coping with help…But whenever we had to cope under difficult circumstances, I had doubted myself about the choice we made, what he is going through and whether he will pick up the language as a skill or just be like me without the speaking skill of that new language as he didn’t seem to be interested to communicate with Eash in the language…

I have even been advised by many that if he doesnt speak socially its not worth it as well as whethere were we really sure its something   that would help him etc…Well parenting advisees and questions all over… even from unexpected quarters…

But, as I always believe, God really shows me the way in his own ways of communications whenever I have felt under the weather or unsure in all matters big and small (Thats why I belive in my intutions more and that’s good and bad I say…) It was the second time in this week, as I was home, sick, I noticed him speak Hindi fluently over the phone. The first time was to his friend S, started off with casual one sentencer and then he shifted back to English. But the second time was when I really felt good… It happenned when he had to return a call to his friend and his granny picked the call (I knew she can only speak Hindi well) and he immediately changed to Hindi and made a good conversation for about 3 -4 mins, which was so heartening to me. Thankful and grateful to the LORD again for the assurances that keeps me going!

It was a definitely a reassurance that he has picked up the inportant skill and uses it when needed…It’s a parenting moment too as I woe to travel with Yuvan throughout… Love you Yuvan…

Sometimes moments like these give me the happinness and something to smile about especially when as my brain works overtime in search of sanity! 

A Mother’s day with a difference

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is what I experienced… Though I am not a believer in ‘days’, in retrospect I think these days can be seen as days for people to remember to say thanks and take a moment to appreciate and as well serve as a reminder to people who take others for granted.

Having said that, I got some subtle messages, a reminder from the Almighty himself to me.. We followed our heart, me and Yu went out for a very very late dinner last night to satisfy my Tandoori Chicken craving and we were in a taxi driven by a very elderly uncle. He was calm, composed and we stuck a conversation. The parting words from him, as we alighted were, ‘I know you youngsters work very hard and I know you as a mom will be trying to spend as much as time with your family, which is right ‘cos family is more important… Don’t work too hard and don’t forget to take time for yourself…’ 

A day prior to all this, Yuvan and me stuck a casual conversation and he asked, ‘Why should they have Mother’s Day and Father’s Day separately? I strongly suggest that it should be one day called Parents Day’ (His rationale behind this is the struggle to remember two dates and the ever indicating Mummy.. Boys are Boys!)                                                                                 

But, this made me think a little bit more introspectively – actually I love the cards he gives me; but I think my happiness is when he is better behaved, independent but not arrogant, and shows respect to everyone, tries to be a honest and genuine human being! And I did tell him about it, that I don’t expect a card, so he doesn’t have to force himself but I want him to show what he means in the values he carries and follows within himself, throughout!

Mother’s Day was just another normal day and we headed off to his league cricket match. I have realised that me being there through the match at the dugout sometimes puts a little extra pressure on him and my superstitions also come into play… As we both deal with these individual demons, I dropped him off for the match and left thinking to rejoin for their second innings. My mind was definitely thinking about him and wishing the best. I have to admit I am still the anxious, nervous mom!

I came back in and the first thing one of the cricket moms told me was, ‘Yuvan’z mummy, Yuvan batted so well.. the parents were asking the team, who is this Virat Kohli..’ Ah well.. a true mummy moment..:-) But I was battling my own demons as his team was still fighting to win and the opposition placed well. 

Yuvan fielded well, came back to bowl a crucial 17th over. I was just not looking at him completely for obvious reasons and he took two wickets in that over and his team was pumped with positive energy. They went on to win this crucial fixture.. It was a good day overall. 

Yuvan’s head coach is known for his straight forward talking and he pushes the boys to their limits to get the best out of them. Any indisipline, arogance and not sticking to the  basics never goes unnoticed and the message will be immediately conveyed.. I was glad to witness and see he was one of the players who has maintained not to be scolded or told off for indiscipline or arrogance so far, which I think is the quality of being grounded I want him to follow through his entire life… Also learning to take defeat and success in the same light and to understand that there is always a little something to take away in any situation and improve and learn a life’s valuable lesson are the keys! Yuvan, trying to hold on to and practice these made my day and I told him quite openly that this show of values is my biggest gift of the day and would appreciate if he continues so…

And I also have to credit the coaching team for instilling teamspirit and leadership qualities in the young minds.. As the team assembled, with no initiations and the coaches still not at the ground, the team automatically started to practice. What a sight it was, as I am someone who believes coaching/teaching is just not only about skill developing but much much more!


The other thing was completely unexpected today!  As I waded into Giordano today, they asked me whether am I a member and a mom and then gifted me with a Mother’s Day cake bounty!! Surprise! Surprise! 

I am also truly indebted to two people in this world, 1. My mom who has instilled great fundamental values in me and truly gave me space to grow as an individual to who I am today. I know I will always be a ‘little girl’ to her… 2. The little man Yuvan who has given me courage, hope, confidence, laughter and some amazing life’s lessons through his uncomplicated way of looking at life, as I walk through my own little insecurities being a person, mom and a parent! Thanks and I love you both… Though I don’t believe in ‘Days’, I want to take this opportunity to appreciate, be grateful and thankful, for what the Almighty has given me in these two people to me! And thankful to the Almighty too…