Family is where my heart is! Whilst I am always a Work In Progress, I have always put my heart into whatever I do – be it family, relationships, work or whatever I do! I am a person who genuinely gives 100% into everything to the extent there was a time a well wisher told me that he is worried I would burn out and I may not know that, but he is amazed with what I do! He did ask me to Slow down. that was exactly 3 years ago!
I have steadily been making progress since 2018 into self-care and have started being body-confident. I have figured out what I need for my soul – me times; yoga and reading whilst I cope with parenting a strong willed teen who also has lots of energy, opinions and questions, which I believe is quiet natural, engaging and it is what that makes the bond stronger! There are other personal close but limited family relationships that matter to me the most – husband, mom, extended family and friends! I agree and accept that anything is always a work in progress as I have my meltdowns, learnings, reflections and actions!
Sometimes I do wonder, am I enough? am I doing enough? Then after some real self – talk, I realise these questions about the ‘enough’ is not helpful or purposeful and then I circle back to the purpose and what I really want! It gets complicated at times, though!
Reassurances always comes to me when I am at the most confused state – I think it’s God’s own way of telling me “I have your back”. Be it some unexpected “well-done’s” for myself or Yuvan’s Primary School teacher sending me a heart felt text about Yuvan’s letter to her on teacher’s day; how special Yuvan is for her or those freaking conversations with random strangers that always gives me an answer to my ‘then’ confusion!
Somewhere, I tell myself, though I agree I am always a work in progress – I have been giving my best to this little man of mine my fullest as a mom (nagging, annoying, kae po and what not). Conversations with him have been eye opening on various topics, I learn every day from him, as I see how he handles new school, new syllabus, new responsibilities! Whilst he knows I have his back, we do argue, melt down and reconcile. I am open and I tell him “I am learning every day being a parent and I am doing my best. I am sorry, if I have hurt you”.
Whilst I thought I have been making efforts, I also realised that in recent times, I have been exhausting myself, stretching beyond. I have now accepted I need to consciously pause and do things that also gives me soulful experiences (just like what I am doing right now.. reviving a post that was sitting in the drafts for good 4 months). Ultimately what matters in life is something different than what I may be chasing now. I had my big wake up call in late last year and that has impacted my whole outlook towards life.
It’s time for perspective thinking and give myself every day simple but immersed experiences – like blogging, listening to music (now I know why Y listens to music before bed almost everyday), reading, ‘be present’ conversations and self-care!
Bravo! Aren’t we all work in progress everyday?