and being grateful are some habits I have been practicing recently and I do acknowledge its increasingly difficult to be aware of it consciously every moment!
With a boy at the brink of breaking into being a teen, trying to identify himself, being aware that every choice he makes he also have to embrace the consequences and wanting independence and yet falling back to you is a very intensive phase of parenting! Me, fighting hard about letting go and yet having an eye on him, doing the ‘kite-flying’ parenting, the decision of how much to let go to strike a balance adds to it!
I am in a phase in my life where I have started to acknowledge, practice gratefulness, be thankful as well avoid comparison. I am celebrating myself and people around me for who they are and making mindful choices following my heart! I feel very raw at times!
Having said all this, it all comes back to seizing the moment! But yes it comes with its very own challenges; about losing it, being argumentative and losing the vision of what I want to achieve out of the very moment! I am getting there… getting there… slowly…
Last week there was a need for his phone to be repaired (thankfully it was the glass and not the screen), I spent time with Yuvan right after his school getting it done combined with a late lunch with him. It was a first, including me taking some time-off from work at that hour!
We took the train and we both were standing opposite to each other in the section where the two compartments are joined and truly enjoyed the motion of tge train and we smiled at each other! A previous memory by itself!
As we were walking after lunch to collect the phone back, I spotted a McD ice-cream and said, ‘Lets have ice-cream!’ That’s when he offered ‘I shall treat you for ice-cream from the money you gave me for today’ and it was an ‘aha’ moment as a mum. I just looked at him in awe as he queued up, bought and handed one to me.
He also noticed that the lad who served us was physically challenged and told me later on ‘I am so glad McD does this.. Isn’t a good thing to treat everyone equal?’ Well, another moment to cherish that he noticed; he is mindful, appreciating and accepting!
Sometimes I do think that he completely throws me off guard with his conversations and at the same time I accept he is argumentative for very minor things. But at-least now I know, scientifically proven, a 12 -16 year old brain works that way!
We did have our ‘argumentative conversations’ and I immediately spotted my emotions, his and did some recovery! More to come! As I learn and grow with him everyday!