I have realized this many a times in my life but never have been able to hang on to it for many a reasons. The reasons include me talking at a wrong time rather to term it as ‘not right time to talk’, being worked up emotionally to the brim, blame game, off course bottled up anger and thinking too much.
I used to be an anger-monger until I was in grade 9 to the extent that I got scared about myself and there was a day that I changed completely after a very inner feel about things but until now I cannot explain or do not know how. But, ever since I have been a changed person.
And again, after soo many years, now, there comes a time when I have realized I have to look at life in a different positive perspective for everyone’s goodness and I have also realized patience is virtue and my anger, emotional hurt all will have to take a back seat and realization needs to kick in! Will I win this emotional battle with myself? It should be a ‘Yes’
I have never written about these kind of feelings ever in my blog (may be very early sometime? – I don’t remember..) I am making it a point to write it here for few reasons
1. I want to get to grips with this and be positive.
2. To tell myself my priority is Yuvan and my family, as it always has been and I donot want to jeopardize the same.
3. To tell myself I want to keep Yuvan happy for all that he is — touch wood!
4. I want to be able to come to this very own space of mine where I have committed to be a sane person with positivism in life, so that I can reassess and reassure myself.
Like my being connected rationalization and realization; I really hope I can do the same in ‘Silence is virtue’ too.. And this is very very important for me and my very own two boys in my life and I have to do this for a lot of reasons known only to myself. And at this point, I am taking a deep breath, hoping and believing that all is well and everything will be alright.
Update on being connected —
Not good — I have been logging in web Facebook definitely more than once — which I am not happy with myself.
Good– I have not updated anything on Facebook. The impulsiveness to know otters reactions has reduced tremendously.
So am I making progress? Yes, but I have to buck up!